things i want to do

things i want to do soon:
go hiking.
see my parents and kristin/andrew.
visit ej in slo.
spend some quality time with drew.
participate in bay to breakers.

things i want to do sometime this year:
go down south and see matt, mikkele, and kristen.
record more music.
find a new job.

things i want to do someday:
pay off my debt.
work at a job i truly enjoy.
fall in love.
live somewhere else.

a mirror is so much harder to hold

i really respect the group of musicians i am playing with right now at cgcc. last sunday we practiced before church, and it was intense. there were 8 of us playing (out of the normal 9) and of those 8, 5 had recently returned from an emotionally and physically draining retreat. however, when we began to practice, none of that mattered. there was only 1-4 other people in the room, but all of us played our butts off. we ended with "How Great Is Our God" and it was soooo good... i don't even remember how it sounded, but i know that we allowed God to do his thing, and it was spectacular. we ended that song a cappella, and it absolutely killed me. with a practice like that, we were quite ready to let God do His work during the actual church service too, and He did. the music was good, and Jeremiah's talk was intense. so go team!

a plain morning

it really frustrates me when i have friends or family that are going through tough times, or are even just having a bad day. i hate that i am too far away to do anything, and that i am limited to being a voice on the end of a phone call or even just a text. i promise, despite my insistence that i am cold and heartless, i do care.

bullet points

- EJ's dad had a scan a couple weeks ago, and he is cancer-free!!!
- tomorrow we record cello, and maybe start on some vocals. that's all we have left to record!
- i went to a conference last friday with jeremiah, steve, and tim. it was good times, and i got quite a bit out of it.
- i hate when girls wear purity rings. it confuses me, because i can't tell if they are married or not, then i just give up.
- chocolate chip muffins are awesome.
- i am excited to see matt and mikkele again, at least in july if not sooner.
- someone trashed the friend's church saturday night/sunday morning. those people suck.
- i hate human pride and selfishness, especially in a church setting!
- it's almost time to hike.

a reflection on our winter retreat gig

So I have had a couple days to digest last weekend's gig at Camp Chinquapin. Some things I have determined or want to remember:
1) The right people were there. Our 2.5 hour jam on Sunday night would have been tough with more or different people there.
2) My band is not full of actors. We don't really act much different in church, the bar, or just at home. Maybe that's bad in some ways, but I think the honesty is key.
3) It has been a long time since I have cried, and even longer since something spiritual made me cry.
4) This band can do powerful things, if we can keep it together and get the opportunities.
5) This weekend reinforced my antisocial image.
6) I swear I felt a string break during Sunday night's set, but it never did... Thank you Jesus!
7) I called my mom on Monday night to tell her about all that happened, and I started crying again.
8) The Sunday night set/cigar break was one of the best nights I have ever had in my life. Ever.
9) Card games are enough to keep me occupied for hours if I am playing with the right people.
10) It doesn't matter what song you are playing as long as it is in the right spirit.
11) Getting my feet washed by people who are basically strangers is intense... and so humbling.
12) Seeing people dance and mosh to music you are playing is one of the coolest dang things ever.
13) I will never be able to put into words all the emotions and memories I got out of this last weekend.

sometimes i am a man?

i just got done replacing my radiator hose... i did it about 6 months ago also. hopefully this time it works! i always feel a bit more masculine after i do any sort of work on my car. unfortunately, i don't know how to do much. i feel like i am a bit of a failure as a man because i am rather vehicle-inept. that and i am not very financially stable. so i guess besides that i feel alright about myself... but those two things are apparently keeping the love of my life away. for shame!

what my blog is saying

this is what my blog has been saying lately: